Wahmbulance!

Oh yes we DID!!!

¡CLÁRO que sí nos podemos!!!

And it's only 9:30, DAMN! 

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

finally a president i can have a crush on!
x

SPOTTED:

At the corner of Frank Gehry and Activision, a certain MoCap actor, in full regalia, including skin tight shiny black leotard, ping pong balls (your joke here) and maybe a little more MoCap actor than one might like to see stuffed into said skin tight shiny black leotard, smoking a big fattie and yapping on his cell phone.

Well, a big fat ciggie butt, anyway.  That CAN'T be good for martial arts gaming hoo-ha or whatever all goes on in nondescript building number two over there!  THINK OF THE CHILDREN, MoCap guy!

you know you love me! xoxo,
gossip x

Nerd Town just ain't what it used to be.

Nerditry, like single serve whole milk yogurt and good breeding, is becoming harder and harder to find, Dear Reader.

Consider, if you will, the .sig file.

Long a friend of the thoughtful, movie quoting, perhaps even politically minded nerd, the .sig (non nerd Americans, please pronounce "dot sig") file has evolved from a hidden text file directing your e-mail program to add your name, phone number, and REDONKULUS Joel Robinsonism to the end of your every electronic missive to a... well, non-hidden, can-be-named-whatever file that doesn't seem to need to be a text file these days either.

Who can keep up?

Attempting to do just that, as the modern girl does, Dear Reader, I asked the guy sitting next to me: "What's the best way to format your .sig here?" 

"A what?"

"Dot sig?"

"Uh...."

Well, maybe he isn't really nerdy - I definitely heard him being confused about file formats earlier in the day - so I asked a couple of other coworkers.  With the same results!

How do you get into VFX not knowing what a .sig is?  Where do these people come from?  How did they get in the building?  WHO ARE THE AD WIZARDS?

What I truly fear, Dear Reader, is that the real question is, "How old do you have to be to remember a .sig file, anyway, DAAAAAYMN?"

Except that for TRUE nerds, you're never too old to forget nerd arcana.  So ha ha on YOU, non-nerd non-losers who sit nearish to me!  HA HA indeed! Victory is, indeed, sweet.  So I've heard.

mlle x  |  movie i'm working on  |  phone number with one digit off so you can't actually call me
"Uh, Torgo, I wouldn't burn any bridges if I were you."  - Joel Robinson

WAIT A MINUTE...

Wait just one darn second.

Uh huh.

Sure.  Got it.  All makes sense.  Doo doo doo.

Wait...

Who....?

Wha...?

I... uh... uh....

**klunk**

wha happen?
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Everyone Hates Rami!

Much as kindred spirits The Fug Girls occasionally allow Intern George to answer their mail, Dear Reader, my feline friend Harper, Duchess of West Hollywood, recently pitched an intriguing idea for an article, and I let her run with it, it being a topic dear to my shrunken, black, tarry heart... and yours too, I suspect, with delight.

So, without further ado, I present "Why Rami Suk" by Harper, Duchess of West Hollywood, etc.

ps klik pikchers to make more big and awezum kthx

 

Thank you Harper, I think you've summed up the feelings of a nation (and Nina Garcia) quite nicely.

please note though she doles out legal advice right and left, harper is not in fact registered to practice law in california.
x

New Category Y'all

Witness:

 

No!  Alderaan is peaceful!  We have no weapons!

 

I love this country!

it just impacted off the surface...
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Strikewatch: Are you effin KIDDING ME?

Well, Dear Reader, I was going to suffer in silence - for a while, anyway - biting my nails and bravely drinking only one bottle of wine a night over this strike thing without bothering you with my now geometrically compounded unemployment woes.  After all, we had that non-welcome-union incident at Sony back in 2004, and all.

Suffer in silence, that is, until I read this!

JenCelotta: [... ]we learned recently that Lost only airs once on tv and then their episodes go right to streaming online with ads. So, writers, actors, directors used to make a residual for the repeat — a part of their calculated salary — and now they get nothing. But there are ads on these online episodes, so it’s all very unfair.

OH, come on, are you for real, evil corporate masters?  DAMMIT!  I just fucking rented Season One of Lost, too, so I could figure out what the hell was going on last season so stupid Kevin wouldn't make fun of me anymore.  Shit, I'm sorry, Lost people. I didn't know. I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!

Truly, I thought they'd got the DVD thing squared the last time!  And now to hear they not only didn't, but they don't want to pay for the interwebs, and I want to kill kill KILL!!!!  Some time drinking.  I bet those kids over at Paramount would love donuts and Margaritas right about now!  Coming guys!

picket lines = the new grocery store
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Ru-u-u-u-u-u-n!

"Are you up for the challenge?"
Sure, why not?  I'm always up for new things, you know me, Dear Reader!  Like, oh, say, vampire detectives.  Say.  But on to my latest non-fictional human suitor...

"I have lots going on in my life and will not compromise in any area of my life so why start here."
Sure, fair enough.  I certainly hear where you're coming from.  I personally am sick of the bullshit-go-round as well.

"I am employed, own a home, pay my bills on time and have my shit together. And you should too."
I DO own my home, sir, thank you very much.  AND my shit is mostly over there in that corner, but some might still be down in the car.  You know, I'm not exactly sure where that shit from that one job is... well, no matter.  And I'm sure I'll get a job the SECOND this strike is off.  If that's ok with you.  Um.  Sir.

"I am looking for someone who is exceptional in everyway. You must have your own life together and not be waiting for me to save you."
I - um - help?

"I might be a little hard around the edges but I am the kind of guy that will make you the center of my world and thus be your biggest fan and supporter."
(whispering on phone) He says I'm the center of his world... yeah, all the lights are off...  the big kitchen knife...  I don't know how he got the number... shit, was that the back door?

"Even if we do not click you will not regret getting to know me. I am abit to much for some women to handle."
(montage of me learning how to shoot a gun out in desert) SFX: "Danger Zone"

"So if your up for the challenge then feel free to drop me an email. however be entertaining, open and honest and we should get along great."
(sounds of my bare feet sprinting down Sunset)

help me mick st. john you're my only hope
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An apple a day makes you a big fat cow!

Sometimes, Dear Reader, Hollywood Moments, rather than amuse and delight me, stun me as would a hammer betwixt the eyes.

This is one such time.

The dialogue herein is guaranteed boiled down from two or three ACTUAL conversations I’ve had in the last few months:

    [general ridiculous banter about various food paranoiae the Hollywood ladies have]            

WOMAN 1
    …And then it turns out I have a real problem with snacking!

WOMAN 2
    What were you eating?      

WOMAN 1
    Apples, or dried fruit…

WOMAN 2
    Fruit has so much sugar in it…         

WOMAN 1
    Uhmagod, I know!  I had no idea!   

WOMAN 2
    You can’t eat that much sugar, it’s so bad for you.   

MY INNER BLOGABLE! ALERT SYSTEM
    WhuhWHUH?   

WOMAN 1
    I know!  And my kickboxing teacher said you can’t eat bananas after NOON!       

ME
    Why NOT?      

WOMAN 1
    Because they’re so hard to process!      

ME
    Well… isn’t that the point?

Quizzical looks all around, then the ignoring of the obvious chowderhead            

WOMAN 2
    You can’t eat ANYthing after 3, or it turns RIGHT to fat.    

WOMAN 1
    Oh I know…   

WOMAN 2
    Especially fruit… it’s so bad for you.      

MY BRAIN
    *le pouf*

I didn’t even try to bring up the delicious bounty of brown rice, Dear Reader, just to see if they'd run from the room screaming, or, alternately (and deliciously), try to kill me with the sharp steely glances of the malnourished, though my mischievous side begged me to, but the bleeding in my frontal cortex was affecting my speech centers.

This, I do believe, is my favorite Hollywood moment since the time I lost 10 or more pounds in a week after nearly being hospitalized with the flu; upon returning to work, I was universally congratulated for looking like a junkie from Baden-Baden.

fiber and complex carbohydrates be damned!
x

Some choose to sing in the shower; I, however, ponder completely pointless and hopelessly out of date NWR ticket offerings.

TO:  NWR
SUBJECT: Extra David Sedaris Ticket, Tonight 8pm, Royce Hall, YOU WANT IT

ONE extra ticket to see Mr. David Sedaris do his Mr. David Sedaris thing, unfortunately Ira Glass won’t be around, but it should be good all the same.  Something about corduroy.

This event is and has been SOLD OUT for a couple of months, so you will have to sit next to me; HOWEVER, I did take a shower this morning, and the seats are in the way back, so… and you never know, I might be one of those people, you know, like JACK BLACK, you know?  Who like totally surprises you and shows up totally smelling really good when you really. Did. Not. Expect it.  And also had really good table manners, and like, took your coat and held your chair and everything?  I love Jack Black.

Unfortunately, he was otherwise engaged this evening, so yes, I still have:

ONE!
Non-FRONT ROW TICKET!
For the totally SOLD OUT DAVID SEDARIS THING TONIGHT!  At Royce Hall, 8pm.

First $20 (face price) gets it…. OR, I might could be talked into a favorable mention in your anonymous blog.*

YOU WANT IT!

x

*if you are one of the Fug Girls or the Defamer Guy, who I hear is totally cute.