"Are you up for the challenge?"
Sure, why not? I'm always up for new things, you know me, Dear Reader! Like, oh, say, vampire detectives. Say. But on to my latest non-fictional human suitor...
"I have lots going on in my life and will not compromise in any area of my life so why start here."
Sure, fair enough. I certainly hear where you're coming from. I personally am sick of the bullshit-go-round as well.
"I am employed, own a home, pay my bills on time and have my shit together. And you should too."
I DO own my home, sir, thank you very much. AND my shit is mostly over there in that corner, but some might still be down in the car. You know, I'm not exactly sure where that shit from that one job is... well, no matter. And I'm sure I'll get a job the SECOND this strike is off. If that's ok with you. Um. Sir.
"I am looking for someone who is exceptional in
everyway. You must have your own life together and not be waiting for
me to save you."
I - um - help?
"I might be a little hard around the edges but I
am the kind of guy that will make you the center of my world and thus
be your biggest fan and supporter."
(whispering on phone) He says I'm the center of his world... yeah, all the lights are off... the big kitchen knife... I don't know how he got the number... shit, was that the back door?
"Even if we do not click you will not regret getting to know me. I am abit to much for some women to handle."
(montage of me learning how to shoot a gun out in desert) SFX: "Danger Zone"
"So if your up for the challenge then feel free to drop me an email. however be entertaining, open and honest and we should get along great."
(sounds of my bare feet sprinting down Sunset)
help me mick st. john you're my only hope