I HATE bumping in to ex-tv-boyfriends, Dear Reader. Especially ones you've dumped like a hot rock, with nary a phone call, email, text, or even a Holly-Golightly-esque wave over the shoulder for explanation as you skip off with your NEW tv boyfriend, a taller, blonder, bader-boy version of him from a show with a LOT more hot sex in it 'cause it's on HBO, not CBS.
No, I do not enjoy that one bit, Dear Reader. Especially if he's practically doing it with Jennifer Lopez right there in front of Forever XXI at The Grove. It's UNCOMFORTABLE.
Oh, hey...! (wohwohwoh sound of adults talking in Charlie Brown cartoons)
Thanks! Yeah, you look great too.... (whoowoh woh?)
Oh, you know, the book is almost due... (woh woh woh) yeah... teaching... you know... busy busy... (wohwohwoh?) Uh... yeah... freelancing, nothing permanent yet... I see you have some new stuff going on! Jenny from the block! Lead role! (woh woh woh woh) Great! Great! Great! Um! And a series, huh? Says bus posters and TIVO (fuck! fuck! fuck! now he knows tivo is still getting anything with his name! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFFUCK!!!!!)... and, uh, that Kate Bekinsale movie... over the summer? (fuuuuuuck!) (wohwohwoh?) I, uh, didn't actually see it... well, I meant to, you know, but I really haven't seen anything in months, with the writing and all... (wohwohwoh?) Uh, oh, yeah, I did just get out of a movie - uh - it's seriously? The first movie I've seen in MONTHS, no kidding, for real... really... eh...(wohwohwoh) ... well, not yet, I have SO much fall TV to catch up on... I didn't even know there was a new season of Hereos, heh...! Totally have a lot to catch up on- saw you were in syndication on SyFy (fyyyyfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!fuckfuckfuck!!!!) uh - that's really cool - it looks like everything's going really great for you! Awesome!
So yeah! This is your year, kid! (fuck!) Guy! Your year, guy! Awesome! (wohwohwoh) My year too, yes! I totally believe that. New beginnings! Yes! (cough) (wohwohwoh) OK! You too! (wohwohwoh) Totally! (wohwohwoh) Uh...? (wohwohwoh) Wow, uh, I didn't know you knew him? (wohwohwoh) Uh huh... (wohwohwoh) Uh huh... (wohwohwoh) I will say hey for you ... (wohwohwoh) Oooookeyyyy dokey then. (wohwohwoh) Bye---