Wahmbulance!

We have a winner!

I wrote a no-vel!  I wrote a no-vel!  I wrote a nov-vel!

In won-hun mo-hunth!

YAY!
I finished, Dear Reader, and a day early, I'm proud to say!

Don't worry, you'll never have to read it.   Though it does crack me up.

YAY!

I must visit with my new, neglected boyfriend, Skeet Ulrich now.  Ta!

I don't think we're in KS anymore,
mlle_x

In a nutshell...

I'm halfway done with the Stoooopid Novel, Dear Reader!

Of course, i have to spit out the other half, like, tomorrow.

Because our novel length is based on word count - 50,000 words to be exact, and yes, I am spelling out numbers in the  novel, thank you for asking - I explored some of the tools under TOOLS in Microsoft Word.

I found a nifty little tool with which you can create an "Executive Summary."  It's much more amusing than that ^&$&* little "It looks like you're trying to write a letter" bastard.

I hate that guy.  HATE!

Anyway, without further ado, I give you the summary of my novel, in one hundred words or less, as created for executives by MS Word:

Summary
Well… Anyway.  “Yeah… hey.  Him, right?  Yeah right.

“Me, right!  “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

Anyway.  “Yeah.  Hey-!”

Right?

She laughs.  “Right.  Right?  Right.  “Yeah…”

“Hey!  “Hey!”

“Hey, You!”  “Yeah, thanks!”  “Yeah… More coffee?”

“Well… “Yeah.  Yeah.  “Hey girl.  “Yeah.  “Yeah.  Explode, woman.  “Right.”

It doesn't work.  “Yeah.  “A little… thanks.”  Yeah, right.

“OH!”  “Right-“

“HEY!  “Right.  “Good coffee?”

She laughs.  “Right!  “Right.  “If.  “Hey, yeah.”  “Yeah!  Yeah.”

Anyway.

“Right?  “Yeah…”

Right?

Right.  Anyway.  “Yeah.  No coffee.

Right.

I call her.

Right.”  “Well…”  “Yeah.”

“Right.”

“Right.”

“Right!”  “Right? “ “Right.  “Hey.”

“Hey!  “Yeah…”  Anyway.

“Hey hey,”  she calls. 

Hey!  I love it, right?  Yeah!  I need coffee.

anyway.
mlle_x

Actually, REALLY sad.

In order to get the bad taste of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy film out of my mouth, I went out and got the book to reread (my old copy disappeared in the Great Dad Cleaned Up My Room When I Was at College and Threw All My Stuff Out Fiasco of 1989).  This edition also has a bunch of interviews and such in the back about the making of the worst film I've seen in a long time.

First off, I'd like to mention that although I continue to be a huge fan of these books, I haven't actually read one since, oh, say, the 10th grade or so.  I used to read them over and over.  So the first thing that the cold light of 2005 revealed was... well, my sense of humor has changed a bit.  I can't say that I enjoyed it quite as much as I had as a kid.  However, all the stuff that really stuck with me all these years, especially the construction of Earth Mark 2 and the fjords and fiddly bits and such, I still really, really love.  It's kind of like when I had to memorize all that Steve Martin material for a class (rcjohnso)... totally forgot some bits, but others I remember verbatim still, from the 5th grade.  So it's not all bad.

And then at the end, there are all these really great interviews with the cast, and the directors, and the screenwriter who came in after Douglas died, and a longish essay on how hard it was to bring the film to fruition.  It's all fascinating, lots of Hollywood machinations, the actors really talk a lot about how they conceptualized their characters and their process, and the screenwriter had some really, really good insights into the book. 

I totally enjoyed reading all this, and I have to say, I was getting really excited!  "Man!" I said to myself.  "This film is going to AWESOME! ... Oh."

So I might be in fact even more bummed about it than before, if that's possible.

mlle x